You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
