Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
