Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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