i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
