just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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