He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We need to get me chipped asap
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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