I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
