Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
