So drunk its hurt
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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