Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
