you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
