yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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