I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
