dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
