some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
being pregnant is like rehab
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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