By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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