Cold hands, warm shart.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
