Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
