Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
