You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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