dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
