dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
