Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
