No more Irish car bombs ever.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
