im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize