with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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