Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
