i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Randomize
