That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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