what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize