I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
