Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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