i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
