just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
