dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
