dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
