Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
