I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my being single is dangerous.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
