so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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