Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
