no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
