I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
