I'm drive I can fine osifer
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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