you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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