the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
