My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize