just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
