WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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