Are we in a gay sports bar?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
