My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
