she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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