shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
