I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
