Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
