i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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