I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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