Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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