Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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