i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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