I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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