So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
A+ Viking dick
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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