Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
